So yah, its been a while.
For the last few months of 2015, I was in a weird place. On one hand, things were really awesome on the theatre end of things. Tommy was getting ready to move into the theatre. Catch Me was cast and started rehearsals. I agreed to prop a proper play called She Kills Monsters about D&D that I am very excited about. I get to make some rad things and the play, itself, pretty much depicts me and my life when I was 22 or 23 years old. We also decided on the 2016-2017 season for FRC. It was pretty stellar couple of months on that front.
On the other hand, the remainder of 2015 had me in a really not-so-awesome place. I don’t really discuss mental health or depression or anything like that. Not here and not really with anyone in my life. I just don’t. Its too private and too in-my-head. It’s too… well, my shit and not anyone else’s. So I’m not going to change that particular behaviour now. All I will say is that there was a lot of really dark and ugly stuff in my head for the month of December and into the early part of January. Now, most folks probably wouldn’t have noticed because I am a fucking amazing actress, a great faker, and stunning liar when it comes to putting on a happy face when I am actually in a seemingly endless pit of emotional despair. Still, as usual, I pulled (mostly) through. I am too stubborn to be swallowed up by it for too long. Fact.
Now we are in a fairly shiny-and-new year, things are better. I am still out of work, but I have returned to school. I am doing some academic upgrading through SAIT with a longer goal of returning to do a really-real program once I have improved some of my grades. It’s a crazy awesome thing that happened on a whim at the end of December. I just thought “Fuck it, why not?” and submitted my application. Like I said, its crazy, but it is awesome! I am only two weeks into the semester and so far, so good. I am taking English (which I love), Chemistry (which I think I love) and Math (which I am trying love). I am learning things everyday and I could not be happier about it. Learning is the BEST. And honestly? It’s probably the main thing that yanked me out of my portable hole of angst. So, its cool.