Ok, I know. I am about a million years too late, but tonight I finally saw Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice. Overall, it was not as bad as I thought it would be. But that actually isn’t saying much.
The storyline was an ABSOLUTE hot mess. I’m still not 100% what the flick was actually about. Batman was cranky, Superman didn’t smile, stuff got destroyed, Lois needed saving a bunch of times, Wonder Woman showed up, and Lex Luthor was an asshole. That’s pretty much it.
The plot was so awful that it actually made me angry the longer I sat in the theatre. And mostly, it was because they tried to cram too many comic books into one flick. Obviously, Miller’s The Dark Knight Returns (no matter what Snyder says) and The Death of Superman (and all of that Doomsday nonsense). Add in the vague references to Wonder Woman’s origin and the origins of the Justice League, and well, like I said, angry. They could have stuck with ONE of those books as source material and could have had a decently cohesive plot instead of the big turd that they ended up with.
What else didn’t I like? Oh, I detested Jesse Eisenberg as Lex Luthor. Like HATED. Now I am not the biggest Supes fan and certainly no fan of Luthor, but I dunno, Eisenberg’s portrayal made Luthor out to be more of a petulant child than an evil mastermind and genius. It was grating. Plus, towards the end, I think he was trying to channel the Joker.. well, poorly. I also continue to dislike Amy Adams as Lois. I grew tired of her about half of the way through Man of Steel and well, it hasn’t improved. She has nothing on Margot Kidder, man! And she certainly has no chemistry with Henry Cavill.
Oh Henry Cavill. I struggled with him in this flick too. Contrary to a lot of other people, I really enjoyed Man of Steel and his portrayal. Supes has always been so boring to me so I really enjoyed the darker Superman (I may have cheered when he snapped Zod’s neck, I’m not going to lie). But in this flick? Ugh, he was so wooden and so…. boring. And not even in that, Supes is a boy scout boring way. In the boring “Why am I watching this? Well, at least he is handsome” kinda way. Not great. And what pains me is that Henry Cavill is a good actor (Watch The Tudors, I am not just blinded by his beauty!), but he isn’t getting the opportunity to show everyone that. Maybe they will introduce Bizarro (cuz why not?!? [eyeroll]) and we will get to see a bit more from him. I don’t know.
Still, there were some really great moments. Ben Affleck was absolutely fantastic as the Bat and Bruce Wayne (especially the latter). I am not sure if he is my favourite Bat, but he is definitely in the top two (I am a Christian Bale apologist – sue me). I look forward to an Affleck solo Batman flick. Gal Gadot was, well, alright. Admittedly, I was a bit underwhelmed with her. But I can tell that she is going to do great things with the character (if the fucking plot isn’t this abysmal) and I squee’d with delight when she
saved helped out the boys against Doomsday.
I enjoyed the psuedo-introduction to the Justice League. Though I am still pissed off that Martian Manhunter won’t be in the flick and that there is still no Hal Jordan love (come on guys, even Ryan Reynolds is over it…) And after seeing BvS, I am less annoyed that my Grant Gustin won’t be Movie!Barry because well, these films just aren’t that great. I just wish Affleck was directing the Justice League film. I am so over Zack Snyder (he gets no links!)
Yah, it was a film. I watched it. It was… alright, which isn’t a ringing endorsement, I know. I just wish DC knew how to make better films. As a DC fan, it hurts my soul that Marvel is making these amazing flicks (Captain America: Civil War opens in less than two weeks, aaaaahhhh!) and DC is making…well, this shit. Upside, DC can at least make pretty fantastic TV.
So I guess there’s that.